This last year was an interesting one. Began in February. Jesus began pruning me. I didn’t find out what was going on until June. Then I began to see and understand.
It’s been difficult, painful, and confusing all at the same time. When the penny dropped, “O that’s what’s going on.” I decided I would continue; even kick up my time in the Big Room. Worship, wait, read, lay on the floor and play my guitar. I am contending for His Name and for His Fame. I have a ministry to an audience of One and am learning that He is all I need. He is the One who rescued me and everything else is considered rubbish. (not there yet)
In the mean time, and it’s been a mean time. I’ve fluctuated, getting some of what I was supposed to get … humility… and then being almost in despair. I can identify much with many Psalms.
On a interesting note. I’ve seen more power in my life to help people and I have seen more healing and encouraging words flow.
Three Friends speak the truth i love:
Three people spoke into my life in this season. Jimmy, from Scotland, was real helpful. I’m grateful he is a kind straight shooter. I’m still learning I’m not “dead meat” yet. It’s taking some time. Maybe that’s why we are encouraged to take up the cross daily.
When you are fully dead, stuff doesn’t bother you, or at least doesn’t bother you as much.
If you are not dead, ego and emotion and self rise. I’ve been amazed how much self / ego / pride / death is in me especially when offended by situations, people’s remarks and digging potatoes. See full post on digging potatoes: stevebowen.blogspot.com/2014/04/digging-potatoesa-way-of-life.html
Steven had a good word for me concerning my mind set. He encouraged me that my mindset needed renewing and changing. My mind was set on the wrong set of values. In other words, he told me I needed to repent in a nice way.
Repentence is is changing your mind set which changes your attitude and actions.
So, the next day became one long session of coming to Jesus and coming clean. You know it all, you see it all, you hear it all. I changed my mind by confessing and repenting. I’m working on a new set to think upon. I’m also reading Steve Backlund’s book Victorious Mindsets thanks to Steven passing it on.
Marc and I then had a chance meeting which was really a set up. We talked for a couple of hours. He is developing some thinking around the danger of consulting your soul instead of connecting to the Life Giver. Easily done, especially if you have a series of pity parties, compaining fits, or don’t tell your soul, mind, will and emotions to get a grip, or if someone offends you and you want rise up and get your own back. He emailed an article to me which I found extremely helpful and timely which is at the bottom of this ramble.
It interesting all three basically said, and are saying the same thing and bringing encouragement and correction to me in a way I can handle it. Two spoke to me face to face and spoke to me gently.
Jimmy lives in Scotland so, he kindly messaged and encouraged me.
All three I know personally, and I know they care about me and want me to end well. Ending well?… Actually I’m hopeful the best is yet to come.
What I’m trying to say is that listening to people who care about you is important, as is the process of learning humility and allowing Jesus to have his way. Sometimes we think it’s man doing bad things to us, when in reality it’s the discipline and love of our Father.
Jesus spoke to his disciple “as they could hear him.” Sometimes we become so entrenched in our own self and our sense of entitlement we can’t hear anyone, much less change our mind. It’s taken awhile but I think I’m now on track. I know these guys will let me know if I’m not and I’m grateful.
Here is the article:
The Danger of Despair
Posted: December 17, 2014